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Thursday, May 16, 2013 08:31 am

News Quirks 5/16/13

Homeland insecurity
Objecting to the bipartisan immigration bill, U.S. Rep. Louie Gohmert, R-Texas, declared that radical Islamists infiltrating the United States “are trained to act Hispanic.” (CSPAN)

Fecundity follies
Layne Hardin, 44, accused his ex-girlfriend of stealing his sperm and conceiving a child without his permission. According to his lawsuit against Toby Devall and a Houston sperm bank, Hardin and then-girlfriend Katherine LeBlanc froze his sperm in 2002. The couple broke up, and Hardin began dating Devall. After that relationship ended in 2011, Hardin’s lawyer, Cade Bernsen, said Devall “bluffed her way into getting the sperm” from the sperm bank, which handed her “two vials of sperm in a paper lunch sack.” Bernsen said Devall then had herself impregnated “purposefully out of vindictiveness and to punish him for breaking up with her.” Devall had a son, now 2, and Bernsen said his client is suing because he’s concerned that he may ultimately be forced to pay child support. (ABC News)

Mensa rejects of the week
A 22-year-old man trying to fly a kite while riding on the trunk of a moving car fell off, according to authorities in Riverside County, Calif., and was critically injured when he struck his head on the pavement. (Riverside’s The Press Enterprise)

Fair game
The Pennsylvania Game Commission accused Arcangelo Bianco Jr., 40, of “firing multiple rounds” from a handgun at a white-tailed deer he spotted in a Wal-Mart parking lot in Burrell Township. After killing the animal, Bianco loaded it into his pickup truck and took it to a meat processor. “Obviously we can’t have someone running through a Wal-Mart parking lot shooting at a deer,” wildlife conservation officer Jack Lucas said, adding, “It was the nicest buck I’ve seen taken in Indiana County in a couple of years.” (The Indiana Gazette)

Beer doesn’t count
As a first step to having ice fishing included in the Olympics, organizers of the World Ice Fishing Championship in Wausau, Wis., had this year’s winners provide urine samples to the United States Anti-Doping Agency. “We do not test for beer,” Joel McDearmon, chairman of the United States Freshwater Fishing Federation, noted, “because then everyone would fail.” Other fringe sports that perform drug testing are darts, miniature golf, chess and tug-of-war. According to the World Anti-Doping Agency, two out of 76 miniature golfers tested positive in 2011, as well as one chess player, two bowlers, eight roller skaters and one tug-of-war competitor. (The New York Times)

It happens
After his dog ate five $100 bills, Wayne Klinkel said he washed pieces that he recovered from the dog’s poop and took them to several banks, asking for new bills to replace the destroyed ones. The banks refused but advised him to send the evidence to the Treasury Department’s Bureau of Engraving and Printing, which requires at least 51 percent of a bill to be eligible for reimbursement. “Each case is carefully examined by an experienced mutilated currency examiner,” the bureau’s website explains, noting the verification process could take as long as two years. (Helena’s Independent Record)
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