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Thursday, Aug. 22, 2013 12:00 am

An open letter to a political assassin

I love elections. The torrent of lies, half-truths and baseless insinuations from candidates about other candidates is entertaining, though also disheartening if you let yourself think about it too much.

This morning, I found the most magnificent specimen of a political hit job in my email box from the National Republican Congressional Committee. Behold:

Hey there –
https://www.nrcc.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/carmen_sandiego.png
Have you seen Ann Callis lately? I think she is still running for Congress but no one has seen her. Maybe this is part of her campaign strategy….

Or maybe the Washington Democrats are telling her to just lay low for now so she won’t have any more gaffes like the one she had during her announcement interview.

While Democrats are hoping they can just buy her this election, Illinois families and numerous primary opponents are wondering – Where in the world is Ann Callis? And does she have any reason to run for Congress other than because Nancy Pelosi asked her to?

David Green, the 3rd Democrat to enter the 13th District race hit the nail on the head while chatting with the News Gazette:


“With Ann Callis, I think that what you see is what you get. She's a Democratic Party functionary and she's been anointed by the leadership to be the one to tip this district into the Democratic Party column without making any waves,’ he said.”

As you cover the lack of campaign action from Callis, please consider the following quote:

“With Ann Callis’ record of being the head judge of one of the worst judicial hellholes in the country, it’s no wonder Nancy Pelosi and Washington Democrats want her to stay hidden. Callis and her Washington cronies may think they can buy this election but Illinois families deserve answers and this hide and seek game she is playing won’t fly in Illinois.” – NRCC Spokeswoman Katie Prill

I honestly wasn't aware that anyone cared where Ann Callis has been lately. Apparently, the NRCC is really concerned about her. Maybe she was out after curfew and forgot to check in with them. The snarky part of my brain immediately took control and forced me to draft a response.

"Where in the World is Ann Callis"

She's probably at home, just as most of the other candidates are at home, because the campaign season hasn't really started, and the election is still five and a half months away.

"Or maybe the Washington Democrats are telling her to just lay low for now so she won’t have any more gaffes like the one she had during her announcement interview."

What gaffe would that be, exactly?

"While Democrats are hoping they can just buy her this election,Illinois families and numerous primary opponents are wondering – Where in the world is Ann Callis?"

Are "Illinois families" really wondering, or are you just happily employing the logical fallacy known as an appeal to anonymous authority? Also, four is not a "numerous" number of primary opponents. (That's how many Democrats have filed for the primary.) However, 11 - the number of people signed up to challenge Rodney Davis so far from both parties - is much closer to "numerous." That includes no fewer than four of Davis' fellow Republicans, a Green candidate, and two Independents.

Finally, if you're going to say the Democrats are hoping to "buy her this election," you should probably have some data to back it up. Seeing as how no contribution filings have been made for the 2014 election cycle, we have no idea how much Democrats have or will give to Callis, so your insinuation is misleading and disingenuous.

I especially like that you, an NRCC spokesperson, quote progressive Democratic candidate David Green, saying that Ann Callis is the chosen candidate to win the district. Is this supposed to be a revelation? And is that any different than what the Republican party did with Rodney Davis, picking a strong candidate with a history of party loyalty to win a tough district? That's pretty basic logic, and it's been used in pretty much every election.

“With Ann Callis’ record of being the head judge of one of the worst judicial hellholes in the country, it’s no wonder Nancy Pelosi and Washington Democrats want her to stay hidden."

Judicial hellhole? That utterly delightful phrase is used to describe a place in which lawsuits against big businesses aren't immediately dismissed on technicalities. Sounds horrific, doesn't it? By the way, did you get permission to use the copyrighted phrase "judicial hellhole?"

This is probably the most transparent and blatantly stupid attempt to seed a "story" that I've ever seen. Instead of spewing this pathetic garbage, why don't you concentrate on running an honest campaign that deals with actual issues? As I said before, Rep. Rodney Davis is a strong candidate already. He doesn't need this silly distraction, and it only makes you look desperate.

If this is the kind of absolute crap you're going to be sending out the whole election season, please take me off your mailing list and save me the hassle of deleting your emails without reading them. I really like your little Carmen Sandiego logo, although her likeness is trademarked. (We seem to be having trouble with ripping off other peoples' work, don't we?)

In the meantime, I'll check in with Ann Callis to make sure she's okay. I'm really starting to worry about her.

 

UPDATE: Corrected the number of people who have filed to run in Illinois 13th Congressional House District.

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