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Guest Opinion
Thursday, Dec. 14, 2006 12:00 am

Let's fix what ails University of Illinois football and basketball

Having solved the Chief Illiniwek problem [see “Solving Chief Illiniwek,” Aug. 18], Yanks Avatar, Tom “Snorts” Sullivan, and Father “Frog” O’Malley have now d
Guest Opinion
Wednesday, Nov. 29, 2006 12:00 am

Our patient discovers something worse than illness

I am strong! I fear only soy milk and . . . kidney stones. I’m in and out of sleep here, and someone named Judge Judy has just sentenced me to death! She holds court above me. I stand alone, do
Guest Opinion
Wednesday, Nov. 15, 2006 12:00 am

When it comes to health matters, even smart guys are idiots

Untitled Document I need to rent a woman for Ben DeFray — nothing sexual intended; no domestic duties; no companionship required; no relationship need exist at all. All she
Guest Opinion
Wednesday, Nov. 1, 2006 12:00 am

Even spontaneity is scripted on the local broadcast

Where once they were brightly colored, they were all pastel now — all soft, all weak hues. They lived in pastel houses and slept in pastel beds. They ate pastel food, drank pastel drink. They th
Guest Opinion
Wednesday, Oct. 25, 2006 12:00 am

The '50's turn into the '60's - and everything was suddenly different

According to Danny “Rags” Sullivan, 1959 was dragging its summer. In fact, July 28 lasted nine days. Rags’ birthday was July 29 — he’d be 12. The big 12! In our small Mi
Guest Opinion
Wednesday, Oct. 11, 2006 12:00 am

How I decided to vote in the gubernatorial race

A hairy situation I’ve written about 40 articles for Illinois Times, none of ’em on purpose. The words fall from my laptop during morning coffee. The stories “falling” are a
Guest Opinion
Wednesday, Sept. 27, 2006 12:00 am

It's hard to get a clear picture of anything, especially political candidates

Fuzzy logic, as you may or may not know, is a real live mathematical concept with an acronym (FL), a formula of sorts, and a long explanation full of words such as “empirically based,” &ld
Guest Opinion
Wednesday, Sept. 20, 2006 12:00 am

When the truck bites the dust, there's only one thing to do

Monday: I have a red truck. I’m vehicle-ignorant: color is the limit of my vehicular knowledge. I had gearhead buddies when I was a teenager; they dreamed of the 1957 Chevy. I didn’t share
Guest Opinion
Wednesday, Sept. 13, 2006 12:00 am

Not many things really seem to make sense, do they?

He was not from here; he was from there. He’d been here once before, with, at best, confusing results [see Bybee, “Here and there,” Feb. 23]. His previous visit had been a medical ma
Guest Opinion
Wednesday, Sept. 6, 2006 12:00 am

Once upon a time, "different" people were allowed to roam free

Not many “different” people out-and-about anymore. By alternating acts of charity and intolerance, we herd odd folks into more palatable definitions. I’m not sure where they put the


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