IllinoisTimes - Advice Goddess Fri, 23 Mar 18 00:00:00 -0500 en hourly 1 Flee-bitten Flee-bitten
For three months, things were going really well with this man I was dating. He’d introduced me to his daughter. We’d even planned a trip together. And then he just disappeared. I eventually texted...]]>
Whim chill factor Whim chill factor
 A guy I know through mutual friends finally asked for my number, claiming he’d like to see more of me. I was elated, but he never called. After a month I gave up hope, feeling puzzled and, hon...]]>
Haunting accident Haunting accident
What do dreams mean? I was dumped 10 months ago. I couldn’t stop thinking about him. Now I barely do, but last night I dreamed I broke in to his apartment, found him in bed with this gorgeous girl,...]]>
Mixed emojis Mixed emojis
I’m dating again now and annoyed by how texting’s become the way you get to know somebody you might want to go out with. I type all day at work. I’ll talk on the phone, but the last thing I want...]]>
Burden of ‘poof’ Burden of ‘poof’
Out of the blue, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me. Not long afterward, I saw pix on Facebook of him with some other girl. It’s been two months since our breakup, and he wants to reconcile,...]]>
Sleep actually Sleep actually
My husband and I have been married for eight years. We have a 5-year-old son, and we both work full time. We used to have these amazing, crazy sex marathons, but now we’re too tired from our jobs an...]]>
Venus envy Venus envy
I’m a 30-something woman, tall and thin, whom friends describe as beautiful. Perhaps for this reason, I’m often confronted with rude social assaults by people who assume things are handed to me on...]]>
Alice in Wanderland Alice in Wanderland
I follow you on Twitter, and I was disgusted to see your tweet about marriage, “No, humans aren’t naturally monogamous -- which is why people say relationships ‘take work,’ while you never hea...]]>
You flooze, you lose You flooze, you lose
I’m a married lesbian in my 50s. I blew up my happy marriage by having an affair with somebody I didn’t love and wasn’t even that attracted to. Now my wife, whom I love very much, is divorcing m...]]>
Nose to the groin stone Nose to the groin stone
 I’m a woman, and I recently made a new professional connection -- a man who’s excited about my work. We’re planning on doing a big, important project together. I’m worried that he’s in...]]>
Destiny’s problem child Destiny’s problem child
I saw this gorgeous girl at the coffeehouse at the mall two months ago. It was totally love at first sight. I keep hanging out there hoping to see her again. Am I nuts, or does love at first sigh...]]>
A good man is hard to fund A good man is hard to fund
I’m a 35-year-old woman. I’m living with my boyfriend who’s a freelance artist (talented but just getting started). We’ve been together for three years and I am paying for pretty much everythi...]]>
Reign of terrier Reign of terrier
 I know humans are typically your subject, but this is a relationship question so I hope you’ll consider answering it. I have a new puppy (an 8-pound terrier mutt). I eventually want her to sle...]]>
Romancing the grindstone Romancing the grindstone
I’m a 32-year-old woman with a really intense job that I love. I work long hours every week, and I often work weekends, too – by choice. I don’t want kids but I’d love to have a relationship....]]>
Pic me Pic me
 I’m a newly divorced woman trying some online dating sites. Because I read your column, I understand how men prioritize beauty. I’m an attractive woman but I often photograph terribly, and I...]]>
While you were sweeping While you were sweeping
My boyfriend unplugs my laptop when it’s charging and plugs the charger into his, despite knowing that I need my computer charged for work. This is actually part of a pattern – a general lack of c...]]>
Pay Pal Pay Pal
 An older male friend keeps paying for me – buying me meals and clothes. Am I making a mistake in accepting? I’ve repeatedly made clear that I have no romantic interest in him. I’m a strugg...]]>
Sparks and recreation Sparks and recreation
I am a 32-year-old woman who has never been in a relationship with a man I’m actually attracted to. The men I’ve ended up with really pursued me, and they were all smart, funny and kind, so I thou...]]>
James and the Giant Leech James and the Giant Leech
 I’ve been dating this girl for just over a month, and she never offers to pay for anything. I was okay with this in the beginning as I saw it as a courtship thing. I guess I wonder whether thi...]]>
Loathe story Loathe story
My boyfriend who dumped me says he wants to be friends (talk to me, see me sometimes), but I’m not ready for that because I’m still in love with him. A female co-worker said that if he can be frie...]]>
The gym reaper The gym reaper
This annoying guy at my gym keeps asking me out. I’m always polite, saying, “Would love to, but sorry, I’m really busy.” And then I move to another part of the gym. I’d go at a different tim...]]>
The sum of his beers The sum of his beers
I’ve been with my boyfriend for nine months. We are both in our late 20s and go out drinking a lot with our friends. I’ve noticed that when he’s drunk, he’ll be super affectionate and say real...]]>
Yawn Juan Yawn Juan
My friend and I are debating why it is that men don’t want you when you want them, yet they’re all gung-ho when you aren’t interested. She believes that we just want what we can’t have. Could...]]>
Sofa’s choiced Sofa’s choiced
My husband has a great body, but since we got married two years ago, he has completely stopped working out. One reason I was initially so attracted to him was that he was in great shape. I go to Pilat...]]>
Knight of the living dead Knight of the living dead
When my husband comes home from a stressful day at work, he likes to play shoot-‘em-up games on his phone. He says it relaxes him. I’d like to connect and talk before he goes into his mental man c...]]>
Watercolor under the bridge Watercolor under the bridge
A guy my girlfriend dated seven years ago is now an aspiring artist, and he gave my girlfriend one of his paintings. It’s abstract, splashy and horrible. I find it disrespectful of him to give it to...]]>
No more Mr. Knife guy No more Mr. Knife guy
You’ve answered some questions about online dating recently, but I haven’t seen you mention dating sites that do criminal background checks. Do you think it’s a smart idea to sign up for one of...]]>
To have and to mold To have and to mold

Lewd Skywalker Lewd Skywalker
A guy friend of 20 years and I once fooled around years ago. Though he has a girlfriend, he keeps throwing sexual remarks into our conversations, sending inappropriate texts and asking me to send nake...]]>
The truth about stats and dogs The truth about stats and dogs
I’m a woman looking for a new boyfriend and considering various online dating sites. Some have long questionnaires and they factor your answers into an “algorithm” to match you with the best pos...]]>