IllinoisTimes - Advice Goddess http://illinoistimes.com/articles.sec-109-1-advice-goddess.html Fri, 29 May 15 00:00:00 -0500 en hourly 1 The file high club http://illinoistimes.com/article-15538-the-file-high-club.html The file high club
A year ago, a co-worker I had a crush on made moves on me after hours at work, and we stopped just short of having sex. I saw him as a potential boyfriend, and I emphasized that I was not interested i...]]>
The shoo must go on http://illinoistimes.com/article-15499-the-shoo-must-go-on.html The shoo must go on
 I’ve been dating this guy long distance for six months. He’ll often fail to return texts for an entire day or even a few days. I keep breaking up with him, but he keeps apologizing, acknowle...]]>
Smells like bean spirit http://illinoistimes.com/article-15472-smells-like-bean-spirit.html Smells like bean spirit
My girlfriend of a year is 51 and lovely in most areas – except one: She often passes gas and recently started belching audibly. She is a psychotherapist, dresses nicely and has a great figure. Howe...]]>
All the single m’ladies http://illinoistimes.com/article-15443-all-the-single-m%25E2%2580%2599ladies.html All the single m’ladies
 I read your manners book and loved it. I just feel that for most men chivalry is dead. Maybe feminism killed it, and maybe men have just gotten lazy. Well, I was staying over at a (platonic) mal...]]>
Eat, Pray You’ll Shut Up, Love http://illinoistimes.com/article-15424-eat-pray-you%25E2%2580%2599ll-shut-up-love.html Eat, Pray You’ll Shut Up, Love
I’ve always been a feelings stuffer, but I’ve been reading about vulnerability creating intimacy, blah, blah, blah, so I’m trying to be an open book. Though my boyfriend appreciates this, he kee...]]>
Shake it till you make it http://illinoistimes.com/article-15389-shake-it-till-you-make-it.html Shake it till you make it
 I’m new to online dating. I’m a nice, good-looking guy with a good job, but I have a muscular condition that causes me to shake a lot. I’m not looking to fool anyone, but I don’t want to...]]>
Malice in Wonderland http://illinoistimes.com/article-15342-malice-in-wonderland.html Malice in Wonderland
My boyfriend has a crazy ex-wife who can’t let go. She is the meanest, most vengeful and manipulative person, initially convincing the 15-year-old son she has with my boyfriend that I’m the reason...]]>
Flee Circus http://illinoistimes.com/article-15333-flee-circus.html Flee Circus
 My mom left when I was young, and my former husband left me too. Maybe because of this, I’ve noticed that I’m quick to assume that any man I’m seeing is ditching me. In the early stages of...]]>
Wane of terror http://illinoistimes.com/article-15278-wane-of-terror.html Wane of terror
I’ve been seeing this guy long-distance. I haven’t really been feeling it and kind of let it drop off, thinking he’d get the hint. He keeps texting and calling. I keep telling him I’m just rea...]]>
Eyes that light up a womb http://illinoistimes.com/article-15262-eyes-that-light-up-a-womb.html Eyes that light up a womb
 I’m a 35-year-old guy who’s doing online dating and who’s against having kids for moral reasons. Don’t get me wrong; I love kids. I just don’t think we need any more people on this cro...]]>
The taming of the spew http://illinoistimes.com/article-15196-the-taming-of-the-spew.html The taming of the spew
 This guy I’m dating usually texts back when I text him. But sometimes, like last night, he doesn’t write back. And I’m just texting stuff like “How was your night?” – not “OMG, I m...]]>
Hope fiend http://illinoistimes.com/article-15164-hope-fiend.html Hope fiend
 I met this man a few years ago and it was like a thunderbolt struck us – the stuff movies are made of. He told me that his female roommate was just a friend. We went on a few dates before I re...]]>
The wicked witch of the Westin http://illinoistimes.com/article-15133-the-wicked-witch-of-the-westin.html The wicked witch of the Westin
 There’s a girl who works at the hotel where my co-workers and I go for drinks. She’s hot, smart and fun, and I really like her and want to ask her out. The problem is that when she laughs, s...]]>
Beak experience http://illinoistimes.com/article-15108-beak-experience.html Beak experience
I recently started dating this new girl. I asked her whether her lips and boobs are real (and it turns out they are). However, I did call her out on having a nose job. She admitted it but seemed kind ...]]>
Stay-at-home martyr http://illinoistimes.com/article-15089-stay-at-home-martyr.html Stay-at-home martyr
 I just moved in with the love of my life. Her former boyfriend from years ago lives in her downstairs “granny unit.” My girlfriend recently revealed that along with financially subsidizing h...]]>
Rant’s tomb http://illinoistimes.com/article-15054-rant%25E2%2580%2599s-tomb.html Rant’s tomb
 I’m a woman in my early 20s. I do fine getting dates, but only first dates. And no, I’m not having sex with guys on the first date, but I still never hear from them again. I ran into one of ...]]>
Playing with mismatches http://illinoistimes.com/article-15031-playing-with-mismatches.html Playing with mismatches
 I like this woman I’ve been seeing, but she’s really in love with me. I’ve been clear that I’m not ready to get more serious and that I’m really never going to be up for that with her....]]>
Urning curve http://illinoistimes.com/article-14990-urning-curve.html Urning curve
My boyfriend of eight months was with his ex for almost five years. Unfortunately, she passed two years ago. I have sympathy for him but occasionally he’ll call me by her name and it’s really upse...]]>
Leave story http://illinoistimes.com/article-14970-leave-story.html Leave story
I had an amazing first date with this guy: dinner, a movie, a stroll around the park and a passionate good-night kiss. That was two weeks ago. Since then, I haven’t heard a peep. How was it awesome...]]>
You’ve got bail http://illinoistimes.com/article-14931-you%25E2%2580%2599ve-got-bail.html You’ve got bail
 I am not attracted to “nice guys.” I’m in my early 30s and I don’t think I have low self-esteem. I don’t like to be mistreated, either. In fact, I want somebody loving and faithful but...]]>
All of meh http://illinoistimes.com/article-14906-all-of-meh.html All of meh
I’m a 30-something woman and my best friend is a guy. We talk and text day and night and I truly adore him. All our friends think we should be dating, but I don’t feel sexually attracted to him. I...]]>
You delete me http://illinoistimes.com/article-14903-you-delete-me.html You delete me
 I’m trying to get over my ex but I’m constantly checking his Twitter and Facebook pages and I get really upset. I’ll see pix of women or see that he’s gone to some event and wonder wheth...]]>
The company you keep away http://illinoistimes.com/article-14847-the-company-you-keep-away.html The company you keep away
 I’ve got an intense attraction to this musician I’ve been dating for four months. He’s on the road a lot, plus he’s new to the city and recently out of a relationship. He says he’s not...]]>
American idle http://illinoistimes.com/article-14809-american-idle.html American idle
My girlfriend is beautiful, highly intelligent and interesting. She’s smart for a living (as a strategic planner in advertising) so I find it sad that she watches so much television – maybe two ho...]]>
Belittle Richard http://illinoistimes.com/article-14778-belittle-richard.html Belittle Richard
 My girlfriend says she likes that I’m smart but says I can be “on” too much of the time. For example, if someone pronounces a word wrong or uses it incorrectly I’ll correct them. If they...]]>
Lord of the lies http://illinoistimes.com/article-14749-lord-of-the-lies.html Lord of the lies
In social situations, my boyfriend will often pretend to have read books I know he hasn’t. He doesn’t just fake it with some casual “Yeah, I read that.” He will try to say something deep and p...]]>
Scoot force http://illinoistimes.com/article-14728-scoot-force.html Scoot force
 My husband’s been saving for a motorcycle, and I was excited about riding on the back hanging on to him – sexy and fun! But then he came home with a Vespa, the little Italian scooter. It jus...]]>
Along came polygraph http://illinoistimes.com/article-14686-along-came-polygraph.html Along came polygraph
I’m an aspiring comedian – seriously aspiring – so I’m out most nights doing stand-up. My girlfriend gets upset about all the time I put into this and expects my nights off to be spent with he...]]>
Scold Rush http://illinoistimes.com/article-14668-scold-rush.html Scold Rush
 I try to be direct, but my girlfriend often sees this as meanness. For example, when we’re out to dinner, she sometimes takes forever to order when the server is standing right there. I’ll c...]]>
The agony of delete http://illinoistimes.com/article-14654-the-agony-of-delete.html The agony of delete
 I just had the humiliating experience of being dumped via email. I’d been seeing the guy for three months. Just days before, we had a romantic date and he kept saying things like “We’re so...]]>