IllinoisTimes - Advice Goddess http://illinoistimes.com/articles.sec-109-1-advice-goddess.html Fri, 27 Feb 15 00:00:00 -0600 en hourly 1 The wicked witch of the Westin http://illinoistimes.com/article-15133-the-wicked-witch-of-the-westin.html The wicked witch of the Westin
 There’s a girl who works at the hotel where my co-workers and I go for drinks. She’s hot, smart and fun, and I really like her and want to ask her out. The problem is that when she laughs, s...]]>
Beak experience http://illinoistimes.com/article-15108-beak-experience.html Beak experience
I recently started dating this new girl. I asked her whether her lips and boobs are real (and it turns out they are). However, I did call her out on having a nose job. She admitted it but seemed kind ...]]>
Stay-at-home martyr http://illinoistimes.com/article-15089-stay-at-home-martyr.html Stay-at-home martyr
 I just moved in with the love of my life. Her former boyfriend from years ago lives in her downstairs “granny unit.” My girlfriend recently revealed that along with financially subsidizing h...]]>
Rant’s tomb http://illinoistimes.com/article-15054-rant%25E2%2580%2599s-tomb.html Rant’s tomb
 I’m a woman in my early 20s. I do fine getting dates, but only first dates. And no, I’m not having sex with guys on the first date, but I still never hear from them again. I ran into one of ...]]>
Playing with mismatches http://illinoistimes.com/article-15031-playing-with-mismatches.html Playing with mismatches
 I like this woman I’ve been seeing, but she’s really in love with me. I’ve been clear that I’m not ready to get more serious and that I’m really never going to be up for that with her....]]>
Urning curve http://illinoistimes.com/article-14990-urning-curve.html Urning curve
My boyfriend of eight months was with his ex for almost five years. Unfortunately, she passed two years ago. I have sympathy for him but occasionally he’ll call me by her name and it’s really upse...]]>
Leave story http://illinoistimes.com/article-14970-leave-story.html Leave story
I had an amazing first date with this guy: dinner, a movie, a stroll around the park and a passionate good-night kiss. That was two weeks ago. Since then, I haven’t heard a peep. How was it awesome...]]>
You’ve got bail http://illinoistimes.com/article-14931-you%25E2%2580%2599ve-got-bail.html You’ve got bail
 I am not attracted to “nice guys.” I’m in my early 30s and I don’t think I have low self-esteem. I don’t like to be mistreated, either. In fact, I want somebody loving and faithful but...]]>
All of meh http://illinoistimes.com/article-14906-all-of-meh.html All of meh
I’m a 30-something woman and my best friend is a guy. We talk and text day and night and I truly adore him. All our friends think we should be dating, but I don’t feel sexually attracted to him. I...]]>
You delete me http://illinoistimes.com/article-14903-you-delete-me.html You delete me
 I’m trying to get over my ex but I’m constantly checking his Twitter and Facebook pages and I get really upset. I’ll see pix of women or see that he’s gone to some event and wonder wheth...]]>
The company you keep away http://illinoistimes.com/article-14847-the-company-you-keep-away.html The company you keep away
 I’ve got an intense attraction to this musician I’ve been dating for four months. He’s on the road a lot, plus he’s new to the city and recently out of a relationship. He says he’s not...]]>
American idle http://illinoistimes.com/article-14809-american-idle.html American idle
My girlfriend is beautiful, highly intelligent and interesting. She’s smart for a living (as a strategic planner in advertising) so I find it sad that she watches so much television – maybe two ho...]]>
Belittle Richard http://illinoistimes.com/article-14778-belittle-richard.html Belittle Richard
 My girlfriend says she likes that I’m smart but says I can be “on” too much of the time. For example, if someone pronounces a word wrong or uses it incorrectly I’ll correct them. If they...]]>
Lord of the lies http://illinoistimes.com/article-14749-lord-of-the-lies.html Lord of the lies
In social situations, my boyfriend will often pretend to have read books I know he hasn’t. He doesn’t just fake it with some casual “Yeah, I read that.” He will try to say something deep and p...]]>
Scoot force http://illinoistimes.com/article-14728-scoot-force.html Scoot force
 My husband’s been saving for a motorcycle, and I was excited about riding on the back hanging on to him – sexy and fun! But then he came home with a Vespa, the little Italian scooter. It jus...]]>
Along came polygraph http://illinoistimes.com/article-14686-along-came-polygraph.html Along came polygraph
I’m an aspiring comedian – seriously aspiring – so I’m out most nights doing stand-up. My girlfriend gets upset about all the time I put into this and expects my nights off to be spent with he...]]>
Scold Rush http://illinoistimes.com/article-14668-scold-rush.html Scold Rush
 I try to be direct, but my girlfriend often sees this as meanness. For example, when we’re out to dinner, she sometimes takes forever to order when the server is standing right there. I’ll c...]]>
The agony of delete http://illinoistimes.com/article-14654-the-agony-of-delete.html The agony of delete
 I just had the humiliating experience of being dumped via email. I’d been seeing the guy for three months. Just days before, we had a romantic date and he kept saying things like “We’re so...]]>
Knight terrors http://illinoistimes.com/article-14616-knight-terrors.html Knight terrors
 I’m a woman in my early 30s. I was one of the employees who got laid off after my employer lost a big account. I’ve found a new job, but it’s not on my career path and it pays terribly. St...]]>
Will onesies never cease? http://illinoistimes.com/article-14579-will-onesies-never-cease.html Will onesies never cease?
My married friend just had a baby and posts what’s essentially the same “Look how cuuute!” shot on Facebook several times daily. Beyond finding this annoyingly boring, I’m 32 and unhappily sin...]]>
Fasten your Bible Belt http://illinoistimes.com/article-14561-fasten-your-bible-belt.html Fasten your Bible Belt
 My boyfriend and I are spending Christmas with his family. I like them and get along well with them. However, they’re very religious, and he wants me to join them in going to holiday church se...]]>
Heavy meddle http://illinoistimes.com/article-14545-heavy-meddle.html Heavy meddle
Is it okay to keep your income a secret from someone you’re dating? I recently started seeing a girl I work with (at an advertising company). She believes women at our company get paid less on avera...]]>
To leech according to her needs http://illinoistimes.com/article-14503-to-leech-according-to-her-needs.html To leech according to her needs
 My roommate’s girlfriend is unemployed and just hangs around our place all week, even when he’s at work. (She has her own place but is never there.) She’s very wasteful with our utilities....]]>
Doody-bound http://illinoistimes.com/article-14461-doody-bound.html Doody-bound
You printed a letter from a guy who doesn’t want to be a father and wanted to know how to be sure his girlfriend is on birth control. You said, “The single worst form of birth control is trusting...]]>
Whoa is me http://illinoistimes.com/article-14439-whoa-is-me.html Whoa is me
 Last year, after I split up with my girlfriend, the law firm I worked for went belly up. I haven’t been on a date all year. Friends try to set me up, and I keep giving excuses for why I can’...]]>
Beard-death experience http://illinoistimes.com/article-14411-beard-death-experience.html Beard-death experience
This adorable, smart, funny guy I’m dating was clean-shaven when we first met, but for the past three weeks, he hasn’t shaved much. He has this really weird facial hair pattern (like patches on hi...]]>
MP3’s a crowd http://illinoistimes.com/article-14385-mp3%25E2%2580%2599s-a-crowd.html MP3’s a crowd
 I’ve been dating a girl for two months, and I go back and forth from thinking the relationship has legs to wanting to end it. I just had a birthday, and she got me a new iPod Touch with my nam...]]>
Under new anger management http://illinoistimes.com/article-14351-under-new-anger-management.html Under new anger management
When my boyfriend and I started dating, he was kind of a hothead. His first encounter with my friends was a game of touch football on the beach. He and another guy collided, and he lost his temper. Th...]]>
I’m with stupor http://illinoistimes.com/article-14305-i%25E2%2580%2599m-with-stupor.html I’m with stupor
 A close friend has a drinking problem. His wife kicked him out, he lost his job, and he’s been a lousy father to their 1-year-old son. He begged to stay with me (his only single friend) and ha...]]>
Empty Shelly http://illinoistimes.com/article-14276-empty-shelly.html Empty Shelly
My girlfriend of a year is really pretty and sweet, and we love all the same outdoor activities. However, I feel there’s a ceiling on our connection because she lacks a strong personality of her own...]]>