IllinoisTimes - Advice Goddess https://illinoistimes.com/articles.sec-109-1-advice-goddess.html Sun, 23 Sep 18 00:00:00 -0400 en hourly 1 Swarm feelings https://illinoistimes.com/article-20437-swarm-feelings.html Swarm feelings
I’ve been flirting with two guys all year. I feel a connection and chemistry with both, but neither’s asked me out yet. This weekend, I’m attending a going-away party of a grad student we all kn...]]>
Mock Love to Me https://illinoistimes.com/article-20402-mock-love-to-me.html Mock Love to Me
My boyfriend has this irritating habit of making fun of my outfits or my spray tan. When I get upset, he says I’m being “sensitive.” I try to look cute for him, and I just don’t think it’s f...]]>
Mock Love To Me https://illinoistimes.com/article-20382-mock-love-to-me.html Mock Love To Me
Mock Love To Me  My boyfriend has this irritating habit of making fun of my outfits or my spray tan. When I get upset, he says I’m being “sensitive.” I try to look cute for him, and I just...]]>
Smells like quarantine spirit https://illinoistimes.com/article-20330-smells-like-quarantine-spirit.html Smells like quarantine spirit
I’m a 41-year-old married lesbian. My wife and I used to work from home together. She recently got an important job, and she’s now gone all day, five days a week. I’m happy for her, and this is...]]>
Power tulle https://illinoistimes.com/article-20298-power-tulle.html Power tulle
Why are there lots of bridal magazines but no magazines for grooms? What does that imply? -- A MaleConsider men’s general lack of interest in wedding planning. Of course, if men did the organizing,...]]>
Seize the meh https://illinoistimes.com/article-20255-seize-the-meh.html Seize the meh
I’m a 31-year-old guy who got really hurt after a relationship ended a few years back. Now I just don’t date women whom I’ll ever really care about because I don’t ever want to feel how I felt...]]>
Credible fret https://illinoistimes.com/article-20231-credible-fret.html Credible fret
I’m a 34-year-old woman in a two-year relationship with a guy. I’ve never been the jealous type. Yet, I do feel oddly possessive and jealous in this relationship, especially lately. My friends say...]]>
Fade diet https://illinoistimes.com/article-20163-fade-diet.html Fade diet
I got ghosted – dumped by a guy who just disappeared on me, no explanation – after three months of lovey-dovey dating. Clearly, he isn’t a great person, yet I’m unable to stop thinking about h...]]>
The last stare fighter https://illinoistimes.com/article-20161-the-last-stare-fighter.html The last stare fighter
I’m a 28-year-old woman who has been single for over five years. I’m steering clear of dating sites right now because of how so many guys portray themselves in ways that are very different from ho...]]>
Paint and suffering https://illinoistimes.com/article-20094-paint-and-suffering.html Paint and suffering
I’m doing some work on my landlady’s house. She just cannot figure out what color to paint it. Now, when a man paints his house, he goes to Home Depot, grabs a few cans of paint and starts ri...]]>
Ambivalence actually https://illinoistimes.com/article-20082-ambivalence-actually.html Ambivalence actually
My boyfriend of two years read my diary and found out that I had expressed feelings for another guy while we were together. I never acted on them (and I wouldn’t have), and I probably shouldn’t ha...]]>
The arf of reading people https://illinoistimes.com/article-20045-the-arf-of-reading-people.html The arf of reading people
I’m a woman who judges potential boyfriends by whether dogs like them. My friends think I’m crazy, but I’m convinced that my dog picks up on who a person really is. Is there any research on whom...]]>
Waif watchers https://illinoistimes.com/article-20002-waif-watchers.html Waif watchers
 I’m a 33-year-old woman, and I’ve always been thin. I lost about 12 pounds after a tough breakup. I’m working on getting back to a healthier weight. However, people keep making cutting rem...]]>
Putting the removes on someone https://illinoistimes.com/article-19950-putting-the-removes-on-someone.html Putting the removes on someone
 I recently had my addiction recovery memoir published. I’m very honest and vulnerable in it, and readers feel super-connected to me because of it. Most just briefly thank me for how it changed...]]>
A brief history of tame https://illinoistimes.com/article-19907-a-brief-history-of-tame.html A brief history of tame
 I’m a 45-year-old single guy seeking a long-term relationship. My problem is that when I’m interacting with a woman I’m attracted to, my ability to read whether she’s interested in me go...]]>
Backbone to the future https://illinoistimes.com/article-19895-backbone-to-the-future.html Backbone to the future
I’m a man in my 60s. Looking back on my romantic life, I was always the guy women spent time with when their husband or boyfriend wasn’t paying attention to them or while they waited for the right...]]>
Hipster replacement https://illinoistimes.com/article-19856-hipster-replacement.html Hipster replacement
I’m a 57-year-old lesbian, and I’m only attracted to much younger women (very early 20s). We’re obviously in very different places in our lives, and these “relationships” don’t last very l...]]>
Flee-bitten https://illinoistimes.com/article-19819-flee-bitten.html Flee-bitten
For three months, things were going really well with this man I was dating. He’d introduced me to his daughter. We’d even planned a trip together. And then he just disappeared. I eventually texted...]]>
Whim chill factor https://illinoistimes.com/article-19748-whim-chill-factor.html Whim chill factor
 A guy I know through mutual friends finally asked for my number, claiming he’d like to see more of me. I was elated, but he never called. After a month I gave up hope, feeling puzzled and, hon...]]>
Haunting accident https://illinoistimes.com/article-19714-haunting-accident.html Haunting accident
What do dreams mean? I was dumped 10 months ago. I couldn’t stop thinking about him. Now I barely do, but last night I dreamed I broke in to his apartment, found him in bed with this gorgeous girl,...]]>
Mixed emojis https://illinoistimes.com/article-19654-mixed-emojis.html Mixed emojis
I’m dating again now and annoyed by how texting’s become the way you get to know somebody you might want to go out with. I type all day at work. I’ll talk on the phone, but the last thing I want...]]>
Burden of ‘poof’ https://illinoistimes.com/article-19608-burden-of-%25E2%2580%2598poof%25E2%2580%2599.html Burden of ‘poof’
Out of the blue, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me. Not long afterward, I saw pix on Facebook of him with some other girl. It’s been two months since our breakup, and he wants to reconcile,...]]>
Sleep actually https://illinoistimes.com/article-19561-sleep-actually.html Sleep actually
My husband and I have been married for eight years. We have a 5-year-old son, and we both work full time. We used to have these amazing, crazy sex marathons, but now we’re too tired from our jobs an...]]>
Venus envy https://illinoistimes.com/article-19546-venus-envy.html Venus envy
I’m a 30-something woman, tall and thin, whom friends describe as beautiful. Perhaps for this reason, I’m often confronted with rude social assaults by people who assume things are handed to me on...]]>
Alice in Wanderland https://illinoistimes.com/article-19534-alice-in-wanderland.html Alice in Wanderland
I follow you on Twitter, and I was disgusted to see your tweet about marriage, “No, humans aren’t naturally monogamous -- which is why people say relationships ‘take work,’ while you never hea...]]>
You flooze, you lose https://illinoistimes.com/article-19473-you-flooze-you-lose.html You flooze, you lose
I’m a married lesbian in my 50s. I blew up my happy marriage by having an affair with somebody I didn’t love and wasn’t even that attracted to. Now my wife, whom I love very much, is divorcing m...]]>
Nose to the groin stone https://illinoistimes.com/article-19447-nose-to-the-groin-stone.html Nose to the groin stone
 I’m a woman, and I recently made a new professional connection -- a man who’s excited about my work. We’re planning on doing a big, important project together. I’m worried that he’s in...]]>
Destiny’s problem child https://illinoistimes.com/article-19445-destiny%25E2%2580%2599s-problem-child.html Destiny’s problem child
I saw this gorgeous girl at the coffeehouse at the mall two months ago. It was totally love at first sight. I keep hanging out there hoping to see her again. Am I nuts, or does love at first sigh...]]>
A good man is hard to fund https://illinoistimes.com/article-19400-a-good-man-is-hard-to-fund.html A good man is hard to fund
I’m a 35-year-old woman. I’m living with my boyfriend who’s a freelance artist (talented but just getting started). We’ve been together for three years and I am paying for pretty much everythi...]]>
Reign of terrier https://illinoistimes.com/article-19359-reign-of-terrier.html Reign of terrier
 I know humans are typically your subject, but this is a relationship question so I hope you’ll consider answering it. I have a new puppy (an 8-pound terrier mutt). I eventually want her to sle...]]>