IllinoisTimes - Advice Goddess Fri, 20 Sep 19 00:00:00 -0400 en hourly 1 Youth Hostile Youth Hostile
I’m a 35-year-old woman who’s been married for a year to a 70-year-old man. My husband’s closest female friend is also one of his exes. He’s known her for 40 years. She’s a real sore point f...]]>
No Girls Aloud No Girls Aloud
No Girls Aloud  I’m a female comic, so being smart and funny and having a strong personality is basically my job, as well as who I am. A friend had me stop by his business meeting at a cafe so...]]>
Eat, Gray, Love Eat, Gray, Love
I am almost 50 but look much younger, and I’m noticing that a number of the guys who are pursuing me are in their early 30s. I’m flattered but not really interested, as I want to get married again...]]>
America’s next top remodel America’s next top remodel
  I’m seeing so many women on Instagram who’ve had themselves made over to be super hot through cosmetic surgery and injectable fillers. They all have the same face -- with big, luscio...]]>
Care Bare Care Bare
I’m dating this new woman. I like her a lot, but she keeps complaining that I still have pictures of my ex-girlfriend on my wall, saying that it makes her uncomfortable, especially when we’re havi...]]>
Gramping Her Style Gramping Her Style
My friend just joined a dating site for elite creative professionals. Unfortunately, it grabs your age from Facebook, so you can’t shave off years. At 50, she’s outside of most men’s search para...]]>
Keeping It Rio Keeping It Rio
This girl I’ve been dating for two months is soon going to Brazil for three months! We aren’t officially committed, so it seems unfair to ask her to be monogamous. We plan to stay in touch, but I...]]>
Foul pay Foul pay
I went out with a feminist who was all into women’s empowerment, but when the bill came, she made no effort to chip in. Please explain this type of feminism. Is it somehow possible that she didn’t...]]>
Things that go bump in the knight Things that go bump in the knight
I’m confused. Does treating women as equals mean not doing those things that would previously have been considered chivalrous, like opening doors and giving a woman your coat? What’s now considere...]]>
The hand that rocks the ladle The hand that rocks the ladle
I’m a 57-year-old twice-divorced man. Though I never wanted to get to a point where romance wouldn’t be in my big picture, I’m feeling done with it. I�...]]>
For whom the sleigh bells toll For whom the sleigh bells toll
I get very lonely around the holidays. My family is just my parents, and they’re far away. I don’t have a boyfriend right now. I have many friends and good people in my life but instead of hanging...]]>
Teetotally awesome Teetotally awesome
I’m a recovering addict, five years sober. My ex-boyfriend was a “normie” (12-step slang for someone who hasn’t had addiction issues), and there were definitely things he just didn’t get. Do...]]>
Woe is meow Woe is meow
I lost more than 100 pounds. I’m really proud of myself and my new body, so I post pix on Instagram. Disturbingly, I’ve got a few haters -- all women! -- who come at me saying I’m narcissistic,...]]>
Apartnering up Apartnering up
My husband and I started having problems when I found an email he sent to his ex-girlfriend saying, “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.�...]]>
Business meating Business meating
A man asked me for my number at an event, saying he wanted to take me to dinner. I told him I’d just ended a relationship and wasn’t ready to date. Of course, he then said it’d be a business din...]]>
Here we glow again Here we glow again
 My friends tease me, saying that I’m such an obnoxious jerk, but amazingly, everybody seems to love me. Somebody said it’s because I have charisma -- like a rock star/movie star quality. H...]]>
Jenny from the flock Jenny from the flock
I hit it off with this guy I met on We’ve been dating for a month and slept together twice. He said he’d delete his Match profile because things were going so well, so I deleted mi...]]>
Hi, Anxiety! Hi, Anxiety!
I’m a 29-year-old woman. My boyfriend of a year is a wonderful guy. I’ve always been a jealous person -- very insecure about whether a guy really cares and is being faithful. I ruined my last rela...]]>
Fly in my soup kitchen Fly in my soup kitchen
I’m a 30-something woman questioning the long-term viability of my relationship. I work for a nonprofit in a community with a high level of volunteerism. My boyfriend is a therapist, so I think he w...]]>
Pouter keg Pouter keg
My girlfriend, who’d been traveling, lost track of what day it was and was surprised when I showed up on the usual night I come cook her dinner. She was happy to see me but said she needed to finish...]]>
Swarm feelings Swarm feelings
I’ve been flirting with two guys all year. I feel a connection and chemistry with both, but neither’s asked me out yet. This weekend, I’m attending a going-away party of a grad student we all kn...]]>
Mock Love to Me Mock Love to Me
My boyfriend has this irritating habit of making fun of my outfits or my spray tan. When I get upset, he says I’m being “sensitive.” I try to look cute for him, and I just don’t think it’s f...]]>
Mock Love To Me Mock Love To Me
Mock Love To Me  My boyfriend has this irritating habit of making fun of my outfits or my spray tan. When I get upset, he says I’m being “sensitive.” I try to look cute for him, and I just...]]>
Smells like quarantine spirit Smells like quarantine spirit
I’m a 41-year-old married lesbian. My wife and I used to work from home together. She recently got an important job, and she’s now gone all day, five days a week. I’m happy for her, and this is...]]>
Power tulle Power tulle
Why are there lots of bridal magazines but no magazines for grooms? What does that imply? -- A MaleConsider men’s general lack of interest in wedding planning. Of course, if men did the organizing,...]]>
Seize the meh Seize the meh
I’m a 31-year-old guy who got really hurt after a relationship ended a few years back. Now I just don’t date women whom I’ll ever really care about because I don’t ever want to feel how I felt...]]>
Credible fret Credible fret
I’m a 34-year-old woman in a two-year relationship with a guy. I’ve never been the jealous type. Yet, I do feel oddly possessive and jealous in this relationship, especially lately. My friends say...]]>
Fade diet Fade diet
I got ghosted – dumped by a guy who just disappeared on me, no explanation – after three months of lovey-dovey dating. Clearly, he isn’t a great person, yet I’m unable to stop thinking about h...]]>
The last stare fighter The last stare fighter
I’m a 28-year-old woman who has been single for over five years. I’m steering clear of dating sites right now because of how so many guys portray themselves in ways that are very different from ho...]]>
Paint and suffering Paint and suffering
I’m doing some work on my landlady’s house. She just cannot figure out what color to paint it. Now, when a man paints his house, he goes to Home Depot, grabs a few cans of paint and starts ri...]]>