A few years into raising my eldest daughter, I was convinced that we had it all figured out when it came to kids and mealtime. From her first days eating solid food she was a superb eater and readily tried and enjoyed all sorts of new foods, from kalamata olives to blue cheese to kale. She was a joy at mealtime and could hold her own at a nice restaurant even as a toddler. Clearly, I was a parenting genius.
Then my second child came along. COVID-19 hit not long into her toddlerhood and while my eldest daughter had gone to restaurants frequently as a little one, her younger sister's exposure to eating out and socialization was practically non-existent for more than 18 months. Once we emerged from the pandemic's fray and began to go out more frequently, it became clear that little sister was in dire need of a crash course in appropriate restaurant behavior. Manners aside, she also was only interested in eating noodles and plain meat with no sauce of any kind. Any attempts to expand her palate were fraught with conflict. Sadly, I had to accept that I was, in fact, not a parenting genius and that we needed to figure this out just like everyone else.
We've certainly had some epically stressful meals out, but we are all making progress. These tips have helped us better enjoy eating together as a family no matter what table we're gathered around, be it a fine dining restaurant or dinner at a relative's house.
Plan ahead
Wear the kids out ahead of time, whether it's at a park or dancing along to a YouTube video at home. It's unreasonable to expect energetic kids to sit still if they haven't first had an opportunity to blow off steam. It'll also increase the likelihood that they'll actually eat their meal.
Practice first and set expectations
Sit down to eat together and practice good table manners at home. Scores of studies have shown that regularly eating meals together as a family has a multitude of benefits for kids including better overall diet, improved self-esteem and a reduction in risky behavior. Luckily, research has also shown that it doesn't matter when you sit down to eat together as a family, just that you do it. Having breakfast or sitting down together for a light afternoon snack before heading off to various evening activities can have the same benefit. Whenever you make time to sit down, taking the opportunity to practice good manners will pay off when it's time to go out to eat.
For little kids especially, go over restaurant expectations ahead of time, such as staying in your seat and saying please or thank you. Take a minute to look the menu up online so kids will know what their options are ahead of time.
Time and place
A restaurant doesn't have to serve chicken fingers and have a million screens everywhere to be kid-friendly. For nicer, fine-dining type restaurants, consider taking kids there for lunch as opposed to dinner. When planning an evening out with kids, make a reservation for the earliest possible seating and let the host know you'll have kids in your party.
Bring snacks
While I would generally never advise bringing your own meals to a restaurant, it's acceptable to bring a few small snacks to tide over little ones until their food arrives. This is especially true when dining at table-service restaurants with a large party. Small containers of grapes, sliced cucumbers or carrots and a few crackers can buy a lot of peace when things get busy.
Order for kiddos first
Order for the kiddos right away and ask the server to bring their food out first. That way the kids can eat while the adults enjoy a cocktail and order dinner. Once the kids have finished their meal, they can bust into their goodie bags.
Goodie bag
Have each child pack their own bag of table-appropriate games and activities. Coloring books and small puzzles that come in their own container work especially well. Single-player games such as Zoologic or portable craft toys like Wikki Stix are some of our personal favorites.
Model behavior
Put away your phone and engage with your kiddos. Mealtime is as much about connection as it is about nourishing our bodies.
Ashley Meyer is a food columnist for Illinois Times, chef, caterer and mother of two who lives in Springfield.
